Reflections on Expectations and Purposes of a Trip

We travel for many different reasons: to visit family and friends, see exotic places, learn new things, relax, escape from the day-to-day grind, and more. While traveling, I thought about this a lot--especially because one's reasons for a trip influence how one spends a trip. I thought about this more than usual during my most recent trip because my brother and I have very different travel styles (i.e., he is more easygoing and flexible!).

It is perhaps useful to think about your goals before embarking on a trip. When I traveled between working and law school, I really wanted to improve my Spanish to a level that I considered close enough to fluency. So I made sure to immerse myself in places where I would be forced to speak more--or only--Spanish. When I went to Israel on Birthright last summer, I just wanted to enjoy the free trip and meet new people. So I didn't have many demands, and the highly structured trip allowed for essentially no individual planning. The main goal of our family vacation to the Pacific Northwest last winter was to enjoy a family vacation. So my family and I were happy just to be spending time together. When I started to think about this trip, I had a lot of vague goals, which I think made me unsure about how to approach it. On the one hand, I wanted to see a ton of things--when would I ever be back in that part of eastern/central Europe--yet at the same time it was supposed to be a chance for my brother and me to travel together, relax, and enjoy the fact that we had time this summer for a long vacation. So what did that mean for our trip? And how did my brother's individual goals interact with mine?

While goals can be useful, they can also hinder you and your enjoyment if your expectations are too high or not sufficiently met. What, then, is the middle ground? There are often many things that I want to do and see when I travel. If I don't go to a certain museum or eat a certain food or visit a certain landmark, my trip isn't ruined. But how do you manage that disappointment if it still (irrationally) exists? (Especially when your thoughts head down the path of "I'll probably never come back here again" and "This is--was--likely my only chance to do x or see y.") I am prone to thinking that way. However, if you have no expectations, you may miss out on a lot of things; you might not really plan your trip or might later learn of unique experiences or breathtaking views that you could have experienced but failed to make happen. I've thought a lot about this because I often tend to obsess over small things, rather than be flexible and accept what is. But in the end, a trip is much more than the things you see and do.

Our cab driver this morning [in Zagreb], from the hotel to the train station, asked us, "Why are you going to so many places? Most people just go to one place and relax." I guess it's true--vacations where you're on the move a lot are less relaxing, especially if you're still planning while traveling. But, in reply, I told him that when you have to cross an ocean, it can be worth it to go to multiple cities! I guess it just depends on the trip.

In Croatia, I had really wanted to visit Plitviče National Park, which is full of waterfalls and lakes. A friend had told me about it and the pictures of it looked amazing. But as Stu and I planned out our travel within Croatia (while already in the country), it started to seem less and less like a reasonable and efficient thing to do. Plitviče was 2.5 hours by car/bus from Zagreb and farther from Split. We considered renting a car from Split to Zagreb--rather than taking the bus or train--and stopping at Plitviče on the way. But renting a car seemed expensive. And what if something happened on the road? (At least we could both drive manual!) I had also thought we could do it as a day trip from Zagreb. But then we realized we really only had one day and one evening in Zagreb when you factored in inter-city travel, and that would mean another day where we spent a good part of it in a vehicle. So, in the end, we didn't go to Plitviče. I was disappointed then, but now it seems like I was crazy to think that we could have crammed that into our trip! You have to make trade offs and adjust expectations (and negotiate with a brother who is more practical than you are!) and realize that there is more to a vacation than checking something of your "to see" list. Logistics, reasonableness, expense, and more all factor in. Having good company and enjoying the moment are also very important parts of a trip. . . . And who knows, maybe one day I'll go back to Croatia and see those waterfalls!

While on this trip, I pondered the difficult balance between, on the one hand, planning and having things that you really want to do on a vacation and, on the other hand, being flexible and not being super disappointed if you don't do those things or accomplish your initial goals. When you travel with someone else, you also have to be mindful of their goals and realize that compromise is crucial. Being accommodating might mean you don't see that last place on your sightseeing list, but it will improve the overall trip experience and relationship.

So, readers, what do you think? What is the balance between managing expectations yet still having them? Is it better to have some expectations? Or not at all? How much does that overlap with doing more pre-trip planning? And does it depend on your trip's purpose--which may even change while you travel?!